haiz... today made my darling so sianz... can't believe wat i did just now... it was all too stupid and iiiidiotic... wanna blog all my feelings now... hope my dar dar can reach home safely...

sorry tt i've let u down... it was supposed to be a happy nite... but turned out to be not for the both of us... just becos of me... making a damn stupid mistake... something which i can't atone... can't believe ... really can't believe wat i had done in front of ur frds... i felt so ashamed... so remorse.... first time i felt so like shyt... at colleen's party i showed u stupid attitude... just becos i was a bit tired... i needed some rest but in turn i turned myself moody... then when qin made the comment abt me when i bidded joe in a gua lan way... i was more disturbed... i intended to tell u all this after the whole thing cos i didn't wan to affect u... and the whole party... but guessed somehow i made the wrong choice... haiz... wished i could turn back time... but time itself forbade it... everything had happened so fast... now i'm here writing this blog... feeling so ashamed and gulity at the same time... n guess wat... this is the first time tt i blog so fast w/o thinking... i just kept typing and typing all the way...

abt the driving part... i really need to sincerely apologize to u... actually i wasn't very tired le... but in the end nearly caught into the accident... i swore i didn't see those cyclist... it was my biggest mistake tt i had ever made in my whole life... i could've been more alert... no... but i didn't... this nearly turned into a big big tragedy... u had constantly reminded me to keep a lookout and to drive safely... somehow i didn't manage to do tt... so wat i had drove all these while... tt time i had the hangover and still insisted on driving... i think i need to change my thinking le... cos my grave mistake could cost a big accident... haiz... i tot i could drive with more confidence... but those confidence turned out to be complacency... i should have drove more carefully... be more alert... i dun wan to end up like my father... he drove so recklessly and left my family w/o a word in the end... this already served as a big warning to me le... but i didn't take it seriously... luckily no one gets hurt in the end... or else i'll be held responsible and will feel regret for the rest of my life...

sorry dar dar... i made u very sianz... and kept asking u y u so sianz... i felt tt u need to correct me on my wrongdoings... even though i kept giving stupid excuses... i need to do some self reflection man... i promise u tt i won't drive again when i'm not in the right mood... need to be super duper xtra careful...

dar dar... do u now i was very very worried when u drove back all by urself???... i noe u r also very tired le... but i'm scared tt wat happened just now might have affected u... i wanted to pour out all my feelings to u de just now... but dar dar also tired le... and u need to get back home early too... so paiseh... i didn't wan to call out kayv they all cos i also dun wan myself to affect them too... i only wanto share this wid u darling... u r the only person tt i really could pour out my feelings de... not only u r my gf.... but inside my heart i always feel u in me... watever things tt i've done i want to tell u... share wif u.... cos i dunno if i can go thru this alone... even my closest frds dunno much of my inner feelings... i want to pour all out... every bits of secret hidden in my heart... to my one and only u...

guess i've diverted too much le... but after i ended my conversation wif u just now... i was soooooooo happy tt u r alright le... luckily u reach home safely le... i even made a silent prayer just now... hoping tt u reach back safely... i think u may find me naggy... cos i have the tendency to keep repeating those mistakes i've made and say "sorry" over and over again even though u have said tt it's alright... i'm glad tt u nvr scold me... i wish u would... but in fact u didn't and u reminded me to be more xtra careful next time when i drive... i realise tt my dar dar is sooooo understanding... i love u dear... all the more i want to cherish u now... like wat kayv have said... i really must take gd care of u... cos all these while u have taken gd care of me... i must thank u dear dear... i love u so much... *muacks*...

guess i shall stop here le ba... tmr still have to study.. must heed ger ger's advice to slp early so tt tmr can study... hope tt we can brave thru this exam period together... lolz... Aza Aza Fighting!!!!